Craziness that is Exam week
I had a scary thought that this might actually be my last hell week after how I felt after my first exam. It was one of those that catch you off guard despite the fact that you’ve studied your ass off the whole year and for better or for worse just got caught up in the last final weeks. Leaving the exam room I immediately started getting post-test anxiety, thinking about all of the different things I could’ve written. The format of law essays really suck, especially when they are all rolled up into a single exam at the end of the year, often closed book and written in a way that there is never enough time to possibly answer everything, and sometimes even with a word limit imposed on you. Then there are all of the nuances of each professor to consider, and the overall subjectivity of how this will all be graded. If there ever was a recipe for test anxiety it would be a law school exam.
Adding to all of this crap I think it has something to do with working full time, and having to worry about the unpredictable work schedules that may come and go regardless of the exam schedules, but hey that’s the breaks. One thing I’ve learned so far about studying law is that the barrage of finals at the end of the semester so far has been an increasingly stressful round of intellectual hazing. I’m just hoping that I have a couple more in me.
I’m not afraid to admit that I have procrastination tendencies, but that all has had to change very quickly since I embarked on this degree program. If its worth anything I’ve come a long way from HS and College pulling all nighters as a result of putting things off to the last minute. The crappy thing now is that instead of feeling stupid and kicking myself for not starting reviewing material earlier in the semester instead I just end up feeling beat down and defeated going through a circle in my head in figuring out why I ended up feeling so overwhelmed with no end in sight: “1) Damn I should’ve started reviewing my stuff earlier. 2) But I did, throughout the semester/year, I seem to have survived last semester alright and I did even more this time around. 3) Damn. Maybe I should’ve got by with less sleep during the week. 4) But I was averaging 3-4 hours on weeknights, 4-6 on weekends. 5)Damn.” Conclusion: This really sucks. Oh well, back to the pit to get ready for the next exam.