Kaulapi World

2 Finals down, 2 to go. Well, one more final, and a paper, same smell more or less. The nature of the study of law has blurred the intensity of test prep and papers that I don’t know which one I prefer anymore. Once upon a time I used to enjoy writing papers, even the more challenging and academic ones. Now it seems like its such a labor intensive and detail oriented process that seems like a mountain of work before you start and it just keeps piling on and on. Don’t get me wrong, I really do enjoy doing all this research, I find it very insightful and enlightening, its just that with a full 8-6 work schedule, after three or so years now I actually have begun to value sleep and downtime as a valuable commodity as well as education.

This exam was definitely a tough one. I could tell partly by the questions and the format itself, have to give props to my prof for designing a challenging final exam. Also I noticed that only 1 or 2 of my classmates left before the 3.5 hours time was up, that is out of at least 60 of us in the class. Also hardly anyone decided to take a piss break. This may seem like a trivial point, but when you’re really hunkered down in cranking out some legal IRAC analysis you just hold that shi-shi for the love of god, your grade depends on it. Unfortunately for me I was drinking Pepsi max the whole time so about 3.1 hours in I had to give in and take a whiz break. The look on some of my classmates as I was walking out the door was a mixture of irritation to sheer panic, maybe because they thought for a moment, I’m sure, that I was done already.

Without sounding like a broken record from a few days ago, I have no idea how I did, other than I was able to make what I think was a good hard effort and it more or less reflected that I went to just about every class and was pretty good about keeping up with the reading, which believe me is a feat in itself, going at night. I can also say that I enjoyed the class overall, and learned quite a bit. That means I’ll probably get a C or a B. Oh well. Again the curve seems to maybe be in my favor, I wasn’t the only one who thought it was a tough exam. Oh well, that all pau, on to the next exam.

Strange/insightful dream again last night, it seems like during my finals prep my subconscious is especially active nocturnally. This dream I was visiting Madison, Wisconsin, on either some kind of fellowship or sabbatical. I had become some kind of academic professor of law or something like that and I was visiting my old alma mater. I went to the union and noticed a bunch of changes to the layout and the old haunts I used to frequent many years ago. Out of sheer coincidence, I learned that Akiko was in town as well, visiting from Japan, and I was in touch with her over phone and blackberry to meet up later that evening. To kill time in the meantime, I went walking along lake mendota, which now had become a rough lake, with waves crashing on the shoreline. I thought to myself that it reminded me a lot like Hawaii, and noticed the amount of sand that had accumulated on what used to be the Union terrace. The water was green and dirty looking, churning with microbiotic life, yet there were a lot of people jumping in, playing in the water.

One Final done, 3 more to go. The first one always is the hardest one to get through in terms of the prep, review, and all the motions. As always, I’m not quite sure how I did. The good news is that going through it quickly I was able to recognize everything and immediately tie the questions to material that we had covered over the semester. Usually that means that I did OK. As I tell Hana, I’m confident that I passed. . . but passing could mean an A, B, or a C. If grades were any function of how much one learned from a course, then this should be my highest grade, it definitely opened up some perspectives and caused some re-evaluating of political philosophies for sure. Of course in law school your grade is solely determined on your ability to articulate your knowledge in clear, concise legal arguments, in proper IRAC form in a single exam at the end of the semester (or year). There’s no credit for participation or recognition for the process by which you learn the law. I’m wondering if the X-factor on this first exam was that this was a class I took during the day division - I would think this would stack things against me as the lone evening student competing with classmate who well, have ample time to prepare, but a good chunk of these day students happen to be graduating this semester.

Either way, what’s done is done, its on to the next one. Back to camping out in coffee shops and subway. Looking forward to getting this stuff done.

In the past I’ve noted times when I’m sitting around, doing something usually very ordinary, but then I have a sudden realization that I’ve dreamt about the exact moment down to the very minor detail. In the past I’ve called it de ja vu, but maybe I should call it more like a moment of clarity or realization, an epiphany maybe. It almost always is some random and meaningless moment, like looking out a window of a car and noticing the detailed reflection of my shirt print, or sneezing on my way to work. But when it happens I feel a sense of calm, sort of a reassurance that I’m on the right track in life, that everything up until that point in my life has been for a reason. Trying to rationalize it psychologically, I have wondered if its a self-talking mechanism in times of my life when there is some self-doubt, or questioning of life in general. However I’ve noticed that this has happened in relatively frequency in both good and bad times in the past.

The only other reasoning I can think of is that I’ve noticed the frequency of these feelings increases right before some kind of an world event or personal crossroads in life comes up. The creepy thing is that like the feeling, I don’t even see it coming until after it happens. So if I’m some kind of a clairvoyant, my forward viewing devise is way out of focus.

So the reason why I mention all of this now is that it happened a few weeks ago, for the first time I think in at least a couple of years, on my work trip down in the hotel down in Orlando. I was up late doing research for one of my classes and kind of thinking how out of synch it is trying to study away from home. Then the feeling hit me, down to the smallest detail, the shape of the room, the furniture, this funky laptop tray that came with the hotel, the fact that my extension chord barely reached the outlet, the coverage on the news about the pope visiting America.

Late April, and the finals crunch is here again. Been MIA from this journal for almost two months total now this year, its been hard to keep up with the posts with everything going on. Aside from getting flooded this past weekend, I also got to do some work travel, headed up to Philadelphia and Orlando for a few days. Had a chance to have dinner with my cousin and her husband at a place called Monk’s in downtown Philly, they had a variety of belgian beers, pretty tasty burgers, and a bunch of steamed mussel pots. Have to say that I was pretty impressed with how vibrant the downtown area was even on a weeknight, it kind of seemed like a scene in between NY and DC.

When I was on break from the conference I walked around the mall that was adjacent to the hotel. During lunch I got a good cuban plate at the food court, it was a no brainer to go there instead of the McDonalds, Panda Express and all the other standard food court fare. Happened to check out a surf shop that had a lot of brands from Hawaii, the kind that I used to check out a lot growing up. After a few minutes walking around I happened to glance at my reflection in one of the mirrors of myself wearing a coat and tie with the surfboards and racks of boardshorts behind me.

Raining all day, this morning, afternoon, and tonight in the district, it seems like this time of year we’re stuck right in the middle in between winter and spring, and its really hard to tell whether its going to snow or rain. Its really too warm for ice, but cold enough to make you shiver on your way home late at night. Either way its soggy and humid, be sure to pack an umbrella and watch your step. In the meantime the sakura are blooming all around with a reminder that spring is just around the corner, and then theres the heat of summer to look forward to.

In other news, Badgers get upset by the cinderella and crowd favorite of the tournament, Davidson behind a hot shooting Curry. I watched most of the sweet 16 game and was very impressed with the intensity that Davidson brought to the court. Pretty bummed that they weren’t able to keep it going against Kansas after beating Wisconsin pretty handily. Now we’re left with a first time ever 4 top seeded final four. Blah, boring. I guess theres always next year to look forward.

Been about a month between actual entries, once again life gets busy and there hasn’t been too much time to stop and actually write something down. Had a good trip out west, will have to write about that with some pictures when I get around to it. Meanwhile life goes on I suppose, I’m getting pretty tired of the daily grind, especially when lately it seems like its much ado about nothing at all. Its an ongoing struggle seeing and learning one thing in school, and then seeing the opposite at work, sometimes vice versa, either way it can be either uplifting or discouraging. The study of law is a different animal, in some ways its hyper theoretical, studied in a vacuum, just like other ivory tower disciplines. In other ways its quite real and hard hitting, when it comes to basic procedure and due process. At the same time work has the theoretical process on how work is supposed to go, contrasted with the imperfect reality of how things play out and how people actually interact. I have to say that I’m quite proud of how I’ve been able to balance both day work and night school, so far neither has really intruded into the other one in a negative way, mostly because there has been so much overlap between the two. It is discouraging sometimes when it feels like I’m the only one that really sees it though.

There is something worth mentioning that my generation has been the beneficiary of the one of the longest bull markets, by some estimates since 1982, meaning that we’ve never had a period of economic slowdown, never had a tough period for finding jobs, never had anything major barriers to access to credit. Both have contributed to a decent and increasing quality of life, either from actual income, or more perceived quality of life from cheap credit at low interest rates. As businesses start tightening their belts and laying people off, as banks stop giving out loans without ample capital or credit ratings, this will ultimately result in a shift in the American way of life as we currently know it, a shift that I wonder we are all adequately prepared for, both financially and psychologically.

About a week back into classes and work is picking up as well. Looking like a busy spring is in store for me on many fronts. On a side note, I got a chance to make wonton, some for saimin and another batch to freeze for later. It had the flavor and feeling of home.

Still following the primaries for the upcoming 2008 presidential election, have to say that I’m still a little torn on the prospects that I’ll most likely be considering come November. I’m always amazed at how US politics has become a warped version of reality TV and a strange never ending talk show in which candidates field questions and are continuously giving speeches and smiling so hard that it hurts.

Meanwhile, AFC championship is coming up, New England v. San Diego in a rematch from last year’s divisional, this time the stakes are higher as the winner goes to the Superbowl in Glendale, AZ in a few weeks. Read an article online about how both Jr. Seau and Rodney Harrison were both former Chargers before coming to New England, but Harrison was able to get there in time to get a superbowl ring or two while Jr. is still gunning for his first in 18 years. Reading about the pursuit of perfection at a professional sports star level puts things into perspective, it shows the drive and dedication of some athletes to stick with goals for years and years. We’ll have to see how this season plays out, I have a feeling that this season will be memorable thats for sure.

So semester 6/8 starts with a busy week, lots of reading to do, new profs, some familiar faces in the crowd of inspiring students, some new ones. So far I’m taking Administrative Law, Criminal Procedure II, and Legislation. I noted that it’ll be the first semester in which all of my classes are actually ones that I’m personally interested in, not just classes to take as they are recommended for the bar. While it’s always hard to gauge a class by the first couple of meetings, I have to say that I’m genuinely looking forward to the semester and the material that I’ll be covering. so far so good, lets see where this all goes.

It was a tough and physical game, but the Patriots advanced to the AFC championship for a second year in a row. In other news the Chargers upset the Colts in a close match-up and will be in the AFC championship as well. I’m cautiously optimistic that New England will be headed to Superbowl 42 based on the fact that the Chargers are pretty banged up right now, if both Rivers and LT were healthy, I would expect a battle like it was in last year’s divisional, but this time around I think it won’t be nearly as close.

Meanwhile Green Bay toasts Seattle in a classic Packer game in the falling snow. After rough start Green Bay’s running game comes to life and Favre is looking like it is 1999 (1998) again, who knows, maybe it’ll be a rematch of the 1998 superbowl? That would be my first choice of matchups this year for Superbowl Sunday.

I still feel like I was just studying for my Immigration law final, but as crazy as it sounds, I’m starting up classes again tomorrow. Ran up to the school to get my books in gear, ended up spending an arm and a leg (again). I’m pretty much used to it. It seems like the more letters you try and tack to the end of your name the more hundreds of dollars get tacked on for books for the semester.

Also marking the new year is once again my return to work/school schedule something that I’m not looking forward to at all, but have accepted it as just a fact of life for the next couple of years at least. Been feeling completely drained both mentally and physically lately, not really looking forward to the late nights in class and even later nights reading and studying up for the next class. The positive spin this semester is that I’ve been able to stack all of my classes on two days a week, meaning that I’ll have some more evening time to get a work out in here and there, and if need be, work later hours. I think just getting mental break from school for one extra day makes a big difference. Will see.

Wild card weekend, it looks like New England will be facing Jacksonville for the divisional round game. Been reading up on a lot of the news reports and it seems like a lot of people are picking the Jaguars to knock off the Pats. I’m not so convinced, although I do think that the Jaguars are a hot team right now and are looking pretty tough for a wild card after beating Pittsburgh almost as convincing as the regular season meet up in the snow.

Another new year rings in, surprised how time flies. Made my annual version of ozoni, decided to mix things up a bit and got some steamer clams (instead of little necks) from whole foods. They were actually cheaper by the pound, and ended up tasting really good. Kind of felt back for the little guys when I took them out of the fridge, their nozzles were sticking out of the shells looking for salt water. Still recovering from my finals, still don’t know how I did, but this time around I’m surprising very much at peace with all of it. maybe I’m just a little numb to going through this 6,7 times already, but I can honestly say the stress level is a lot easier to stomach as time goes by.

Meanwhile in football distractions on the New Year, UH pretty much got destroyed by UGA in the Sugar Bowl, 41-10, really it felt more like more like 41-3 since the last touchdown was scored against UGA’s scout team. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for all the UH fans that made most likely some of the most expensive travel plans in a long time to fly from Honolulu to New Orleans. All week long there were a lot of new stories in the local media talking about the clash of cultures, happy times, and overall anticipation of the upcoming game. When it came down to it, it was painfully obvious how mediocre an otherwise prolific quarterback can seem when his offensive line is outmatched by an athletic defensive front, and with virtually no running game to balance the offense out. After a few series I noticed the Georgia players dropping 7-8 players back, their front 3-4 were able to get to Brennen with no problem, either sacking him, or rushing his throws. with 7-8 linebackers or corners, Georgia could double team all of Hawaii’s star receivers pretty much all night. Hawaii’s defense did pretty good at first, but after about a quarter it was obvious who the better team was.

Not to be too cynical, but the whole ordeal was a reminder of reality in the differences in facilities, recruiting budgets and overall caliber that Hawaii has against many mainland colleges. After a certain point, believing in yourself, dedication and hard work cannot make up for lack of talent, or more importantly, the missed opportunity to harvest and develop that talent into it’s full potential. Hawaii is a very good team no doubt they prove it by winning their conference and going undefeated during the regular season and beating everyone and anyone who was willing to play them and didn’t chicken out like Michigan. The game just showed how much better a #2 or #3 team in a BSC conference can play, especially in a prime time bowl game on national TV. Case in point, earlier today Wisconsin lost a close battle to Tennessee in the Outback bowl which didn’t get nearly as much spotlight as the Sugar Bowl. Even though the Badgers lost, they were in it until the very last drive, and last pass. At least they were able to compete and keep winning the game a possibility. UH clearly had no chance whatsoever.

The whole affair actually did remind me of another team that I’ve been following that has been pretty much dedicated to the pass attack. One that has so far kept an undefeated season alive and well. At least New England has an offensive line, and a few solid running backs in the backfield when it needs to change things up. Looking forward to the playoffs.

Strange dreams, a recurring one no doubt, it comes in pieces, all of them have a sense of urgency and loss. There are two that stick out, one is I’m riding a subway train and I discover that one of the passengers has left a whole stack of partially used fare cards behind in a seat. I don’t know who this person is, but I am left on the train counting a whole stack of paper train currency, wondering what the right thing to do is. I dont’ know whose these belong to, so there isn’t much a point in reporting them as missing, worse yet, If I give it to a station employee there is a chance that they’ll just pocket it. While I’m sitting there counting the cards, 3 secret police officers get on board and two of them recognize me, and all three take a seat next to me.

The agent that sits next to me is very friendly as I am introduced by my other friends. I notice that the other passengers visibly tense about these three, and are looking away from our small group, and are avoiding eye contact with us. We kid around, talk about the weather, and the local sports teams. I have to notice that the agent next to me is carrying a very lethal looking submachine gun, semi-concealed. He offers it to me to take a closer look - the gun is an impressive work of mechanized technology. Weird things are that the sights are below the muzzle, and the clip is very small and compact. It feels very light but sturdy in my hand. At that time I kind of have an “aha” moment that I’m not in DC anymore, I’m not even in the present time either. I don’t recall how this dream ends.