Today marks another 3 years transition for me, this one marking my official transition to a productive member of the full-time work force from a life as a full time student, not so gainfully employed, if you include tutoring and graduate assistantships. Pretty amazing how much things have changed from 3 years ago I was a freshly minted graduate, ready to work, ready to learn, ready to try and make a difference no matter how small or insignificant in the greater scheme of things.
Kind of ironic that I end up spending the day not at work, but instead at the Federal District Courthouse for jury duty. Again it was a trial that I probably would’ve been really interested in sitting in on, but for whatever reason I was not selected. This time I happened to be towards the end of the jury pool and didn’t even have to answer any questions by the attorneys before the clerk excused me for the day. The last time was similar situations in the sense that I was actually in the process of learning about the law and was probably one of the only people in the pool who was secretly hoping that he would get picked. The last time I did get selected, but the Judge declared a mistrial after the first 30 minutes of the trial.
It was nice to have some time off from work to take a breather from the hectic interview and drafting schedule to reflect, stop and look around. I found some interesting little parks and statues gardens a few blocks away from where I work. It has been so nose to the grindstone that I’m sorry to admit that I’ve become in part one of those District denizens rushing to and from work, not taking time to enjoy the more insignificant things in life. Since I didn’t have class tonight, today was probably one of the first days in a long time I can remember that I actually had an excuse to walk around with no place to go.
I used to wonder whether certain twists and turns that life seemed to throw at me were all part of a master plan. Part of me still believes, although by judging the mixed signals, sometimes it seems kind of strange what kind of path I’ve been drawn down by the universe. Maybe it is just as fitting that I spend my 3 year anniversary of federal service in a federal courthouse, albeit as a prospective juror – after all it was in another state court house back home that made me seriously think about heading out to the East coast, DC specifically, although if you asked me 6 years ago if I ever thought I’d be living in the district I’d tell you that you’re nuts.
The three years out have been good to me, very productive, eye-opening. I guess you could say that I’m older, wiser, not as naive in the ways of government systems and institutions. I’ve secured some benefits, non-competitive standing for certain positions, access credentials, and of course a steady stream of income which I’ve been able to afford a decent living standard and put away a bunch in IRA accounts and savings accounts. Filing taxes this year I was surprised with the prospect that my paid taxes were starting to sound like what I used to gross in a year.
I’ve applied and denied for a few promotions, won some battles with management, lost others. Gotten a better feel for the agency’s internal culture, strengths, weaknesses, insanities, inefficiencies and inequities. Haven’t drunk the kool-aid as some of my peers obviously have about a perfect agency that rewards its employees based on performance and no politics or favoritism, but honestly haven’t given up just yet. Time will tell.
On the extra-agency development, I am now a little bit more than half way to a J.D. from going to night school. Can’t say that law school has been everything that I expected, but I can say that I have been learning a lot more than I could’ve ever imagined, even though I have some work experience in the area nothing really substitutes actually going through the intellectual hazing that aspiring legal scholars have to go through. I understand why so many law school alum decide that they after all do not really want to practice law and find other professions.
Settled a few personal demons, while others still linger. Most importantly, I took the plunge and made a real commitment to Hana at the time that felt right, although as with everything else, it was very unconventional and maybe a little wild from an uninformed observer. Circles of influence and interest change gradually but significantly when you’ve found something worth fighting for and making a life commitment to. When people ask me how life is now I can’t say that it’s that much different in the day to day, but every so often I do notice.
All in all I think the past three years I’ve spent out here so far have definitely toughened me up a bit, made some sense on what to expect from people in general and in terms of professional and personal integrity, and limits of them. The locality of the district and all that goes on here has been a lesson in human nature all by itself. I’ve come to realize that there are some very insecure and screwed up people at any age and background. All in all I’ve still maintained for the most part my own personality and temperment – Meyer’s Briggs profile has been a solid ENTP/ENTJ.
Time flies when you’re busy, thats for sure.