8 . 9 . 0 6
So I ship out tomorrow for my short-lived summer vacation, I say short-lived in that I’m still tying up some loose ends on my summer law class and knowingly I’ll have a long short list of tasks to pick up as soon as I get back to the office. Meanwhile, year “2E” is looming to start up in roughly two weeks. I think I pretty much decided to take the lower credit load and reclaim some weekend downtime from here on out, even if it means taking summer school for the remaining 3 years. I think it’ll be worth it in the long run, have to keep up with some other commitments and not lose sight of the important things in life. Like sleep, for one.
As always, I am curious to see what turn life will take next. Early this morning I had a lapse of Deja vu, first time in a while, occaisionally I would have a moment of thought when a certain moment seemed strikingly familar to me, as if it came to me once in a dream a long time ago. The strange thing was that it would come in the form of mundane and normal life, washing the dishes, listening to the TV in the background, and remembering the exact words of the announcer, the cheesy commercial jingle and flying bacon strips through the air.
I have come to interpret moments like these as some kind of subconsious reassurance that I am one the right path, almost as if my dreams were tapping into some kind of script that had been paved before me, one of many different realities and possibilities. Kind of like a cosmic choose-your-own adventure (its the closest analogy I can think of right now), although the path is never determined or set in stone of course, I still have the power to choose my own path. I would notice that the dejavu moments would build and build coming up to a big event or crossroads in life, usually a big decision, or rite of passage and once I crossed it, the dejavu would subside and sometimes totally disappear.
Very vivid dreams lately. I think in the past week or so I have had a conversation with every one of my ex-girlfriends with the exception of a couple, reinstilling some of the emotional drama and hectic moments I’ve had in the past years since junior high. Some dreams were more obviously symbolic than others, which was somewhat amusing being that some of the ones I seem to have dug up from my unconscious I honestly haven’t really thought about in years. Some of them were still pretty pissed off at me, some were sad that we had lost touch, and others were wicked in insisting that I still wanted them back. I think at one point I was going to respond “In your dreams” but the the lucid dream state irony would’ve been too much even for me.
I suppose I’ve had my share of relationships, spanning a wide specturm of dysfunctional, co-dependent, psychotic, bittersweet, platonic, sibling-like, flirtatious, and those that I never pursued for whatever reason there was. Usually because of circumstances and the point of life each of us were at, maybe due to some kind of karma in a past life, or the roads I had chosen in this life.
It’s been a little over 2 years in the District, 2 years of full time work (with benefits) and 1 year of Night school, I’d say that while quite a bit has changed, some things in my own persona and overall demeanor haven’t changed at all. Looking forward to this next crossroads that has been triggering the dejavu whatever it might be, especially if it is what I think it is coming up down the road.