5 . 2 2 . 0 6
Finals are pau and seemingly long gone now, despite being officially over less than two weeks ago. I guess I got out in one piece, survived the trials mentally and physically more or less, I’m plus/minus on how it’ll all turn out officially grades-wise, afterall from my brief experience so far with formal evaluations and from talking to others who have been through it all, more often than not the gravity of lessons learned is not reflected in the end product by way of grades. I can say that of the three finals I had wide spectrum of experiences, one very confident, one not-so, and one average. If what I’ve been hearing is true, I’ll probably end up acing the not-so and bombing the very confident one.
Shitty disclaimers, I know, sure why not. Going back to school of this style of instruction and competitive curve kind has made me question partly how well I adapt to the whole rigors of the ivory tower. This past year has been night and day compared to grad school (no pun intended), and it isn’t due just to the fact that I’ve been working full time during the day. I think part of it might be this sort of purist approach I tend to take at learning in general, kind of a F-you attitude towards the grade grubbers, the people who are go into a degree program who are solely driven for a trade or job to the point that the grade at the end of the semester trumps the learning process. I guess this might include those who cut corners along the way, especially those that cheat, and are in some ways seem to be awarded for these efforts.
One glaring example that comes to mind are the evening students who aren’t working during the day. The ones that are dressed like students every evening, the ones that seem to be able to make all the tutorials and study sessions, the ones who have textbook like answers to all the prof’s questions. I’m sure that there has to be something to be said about the strategy of studying all day and then competing with a more distracted and tired field in the evening. I suppose its all fair, technically there is nothing ethically wrong with exploiting a loophole to get an edge on the competition.
The consequences of the first year adjustment period usually are that I score a lot lower GPA wise than my board scores might predict at the get go, and take some time overall to learn exactly how to play the grade game. Of course this translates in missed opportunities reserved for the higher GPA students, as well as any chance of being an honors student when I finish a program. I’m just hoping that it doesn’t play out this time around although I do reserve the possibility for anything after such an eventful year.
I’m not convinced at all that my first 0.75 fully kicked my ass as much as it’ll translate in the end, but most likely there’ll be no returning student high academic scholarship for the rest of the first year classes in the fall for me thats for sure. As many of my not-so-well-known classmates and I were saying a couple fridays ago after the last final, 1 down, 3 more years to go.
Meanwhile I’m still adjusting back to life without a full load of night classes. I do have one signed up which meets once a week, along with some outside work and case research, even the week or so off makes a big difference as for piece of mind and break from the routine that I was getting used to. M2 was right, it definitely gets grueling at times, but it seems like it is all worth the effort so far.
Side note, delivered copies of the final product to the client today, some interesting interactions with random staff and individuals throughout the day, kind of makes me wonder about the role that my agency plays in the bigger scheme of things. I suppose the important thing is to keep things in perspective always, not to expect too much too soon, but also not to settle for too little either. Maybe thats part of the reason that I decided to go back to school.